“Think about this, ladies. The man who will father your future children could be sitting beside you right now.”
—
5 Physical Details That Reveal Highly Personal Information | Cracked.com
I’M SITTING NEXT TO MY BROTHER D: D: D:
August 2011
“Franklin Richards is whatever age he wants to be.”
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Hahaha, I’ve been saying this for a couple years now. Check it.
(This article is fabulous. Franklin, I love you.)
“Kids tend to like their music, and they tend to like it wherever they are. This has been a source of annoyance for teachers since the days of the transistor radio (prior to that, children were forced to hire a group of minstrels to follow them around, which were much easier to spot).”
—6 Beneficial Things They Made You Stop Doing in School | Cracked.com
“92. The name of the weapon shop is not “Bloodbath and Beyond”
—
theglen: 1975 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
IT SHOULD BE.
“However, people with prosopagnosia can become ingenious in their techniques for recognizing people, identifying them by memorizing their distinctive features. It works perfectly as long as nobody you know ever gets a haircut.”
—The 6 Most Mind-Blowing Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction | Cracked.com
“We can’t pretend that Han led some incredible military campaign off-camera like Lando. Before A New Hope, he wasn’t a soldier at all. He wasn’t even the leader of a gang or anything. He was just cruising around doing illegal shit with teen wolf riding shotgun. He has never been trained in military tactics. Hell, he has never been through any kind of basic training.”
—
5 Movie Characters Who Were Wildly Unqualified for Their Job | Cracked.com
Except he totally did, bitches. Han THE MAN Solo was in the Imperial Academy before he split with his rescued Wookiee slave buddy. SUCK IT, CRACKED.
(I don’t post comments on Cracked because I’m not a fourteen year old boy. I make dumb Tumblr posts instead because I’m actually a sixteen year old girl?)
“If you were to ask me what I did yesterday, I could only blink and reply, “Internet. Regret.”
—Something Called Science Claims the Internet Makes Us Dumb | Cracked.com
“The tentacles dig up Mary Jane’s body, and Peter recalls how he accidentally caused her death giving her cancer due to insemination with his radioactive spider-semen.”
—
Spider-Man: Reign - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This will never stop being the most hilarious thing ever.
